It seems natural to us to be compassionate towards others, but why is it we often lose that ability when dealing with ourselves. Perhaps this is an area that should be dealt with in our search for self-development.
I am fascinated about self-development in all of its shapes and forms and have tried and used many systems in my own development. Let’s admit it we all need a confidence or self-esteem boost every now and again especially in today’s fast paced, must succeed lifestyle. But a little word of warning if you considering a little self-development of your own for the first time.
Most, not all, but most self-development systems forget the self-compassion aspect. The self-compassion you are going to need when things don’t work out as quickly or as well as you had hoped. You will have been focusing on all the so called power statements like; I can be successful, I will be successful, I am successful, etc, etc. But about when you are not successful at the first, second or third attempt?
If you are anything like me you will get frustrated, even angry with yourself. You will blame yourself for not being a success and beat yourself up about it, and this is where the self-compassion comes in. The bit the book or whatever you are using won’t explain because it will only be focussed on your success to achieve, not your failure to achieve.
So here is a tip you can use if you find yourself in this situation. Imagine how you would feel and act if your best friend told you that they had just failed at something they had really desired to succeed at and it was entirely their fault because they are not good enough or clever enough and therefore didn’t deserve to succeed anyway.
I’ll tell you how you will feel, you will feel compassionate. You will share your compassion and do your best to make them feel better. Telling them they are worthy and capable of success, they just need to have a bit of patience and everything will work out fine.
Remember that the next time you think you are not good enough at something and instead of beating yourself up over it; try a little self-compassion, because compassion and self-development should always go hand in hand.
Author: Guest Writer – Steve Tallamy who recommends “High Self-Esteem In 21 Days” by Adam Eason